If I were in charge of the world

I started workshops yesterday, and I have to admit, out connect activity was one of my favorites in my 12 years of teaching. It started with a poem by Judith Viorst, the author of the magnificent children's book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day:

If I were in charge of the world
I'd cancel oatmeal,
Monday mornings,
Allergy shots, and also
Sara Steinberg.

If I were in charge of the world
There'd be brighter night lights,
Healthier hamsters, and
Basketball baskets forty-eight inches lower.

If I were in charge of the world
You wouldn't have lonely.
You wouldn't have clean.
You wouldn't have bedtimes.
Or "Don't punch your sister!"
You wouldn't even have sisters.

If I were in charge of the world,
a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and nuts would be a vegetable.
All 007 movies would be G.
And a person who sometimes forgot to brush,
and sometimes forgot to flush,
would still be allowed to be in charge of the world.

Reading that poem was a delight, but then we got to write our own. Here's mine:

If I were in charge of the world
I'd cancel weeds,
dirty dishes,
bad attitudes, and also
impatient drivers.

If I were in charge of the world
There'd be self-correcting papers,
gumless tables, and
little boys with good aim and good intentions.

If I were in charge of the world
You wouldn't have sick dogs.
You wouldn't have sibling rivalry.
You wouldn't have grumpy.
Or temper tantrums.
You wouldn't even have department chair meetings longer than a half hour.

If I were in charge of the world,
Byerly's Irish Cream bars would be a vegetable.
All dishes would be self-cleaning.
And a person who sometimes forgot to RSVP,
and sometimes forgot to make phone calls
would still be allowed to be in charge of the world.

I SO want to scrap that.

If you want a fun 30-60 minutes, rewrite Viorst's original poem to fit your thoughts, life, and dreams. Then scrap it!